


BG97's Drabbles and Ficlets

by BG97



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Characters, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, BOTTOM MINHO, Being an adult sucks, Blasphemy, Bottom Chan, Bouncer Felix, Bunny Seungmin, CBT, Choking, Crossdressing, Crying, Daddy Dom Felix, Daddy Kink, Degradation, Dom Jisung, Double Penetration, Established Chan/Felix, Established Felix/Chan, Established Hyunjin/Jisung, Exhibitionism, Feminization, Friends With Benefits, Heat Sex, Hoods, Hook-Up, Hurt Felix, Hurt/Comfort, Hyunjin in a Skirt, Impact Play, Implied Established Hyunjin/Felix, Implied Future Polyamory, Implied/Referenced Past Chan/Woojin, Kissing, Leather Bondage, Light D/s Dynamics, M/M, Masochist Minho, Master/Slave dynamics, Masturbation, Minor G-d Kink, No penetration, Omega Felix, Oral Sex, Pet Play, Piss, Praise Kink, Public Humiliation, Public Masturbation, Referenced Chan/Jisung, Religion Kink, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sensory Deprivation, Sex Toys, Sex in a Church, Spanking, Stripper Hyunjin, Submissive Chan, Subspace, Threesome, Top Felix, Top Seungmin, Topping from the Bottom, Unconventional Pet Play, Unprotected Sex, Voice Kink, alpha chan, alternative universe, baby boy jisung, bottom hyunjin, d/s dynamics, dick stepping, dom bottom felix, dom seungmin, kitten shenanigans, puppy hyunjin, seungmin-centric, sub hyunjin, sub seungmin, sub top jisung, suppressants, top Jisung
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:08:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BG97/pseuds/BG97
Summary: A collection of unconnected drabbles, threads, and ficlets originally published on my twitter account!Variable pairings and tags - all of which will be listed for each chapter and updated as chapters are added.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan/Kim Woojin/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Manager, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Han Jisung/Hwang Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Unnamed Male Character
Comments: 7
Kudos: 428





	1. Chan/Felix/Woojin - Established Relationship + Third

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends!
> 
> I've been doing more writing on my twitter these last few months and wanted to put all of my drabbles and ficlets in an easily accessible place and make them available for friends who don't follow me there or might have missed them!
> 
> These are all less than 3k, with various themes, pairings, ratings, etc., and none of them are connected to the others.

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Established Chan/Felix, Implied/Referenced Past Chan/Woojin, Threesome, Kitten Shenanigans, Hook-up, Implied Future Polyamory, Kissing, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Double Penetration

Posted: July 23rd, 2019

oOo

Two days.

It had been exactly two days since Felix had finally convinced Chan to adopt a cat with him. She was a tiny, scared thing that had been hiding from them ever since they brought her home, but Felix was already hopelessly in love with her.

It took Chan exactly two days to mess it up.

_ God _ . The look on his boyfriend's face when he had to tell him that he accidentally left the door of their apartment open when he went to get the mail… and now he couldn't find her anywhere, it broke his heart. Felix was out the door in seconds, calling her name - that she probably doesn't even know yet - while tears collect in his eyes.

Chan really fucked up.

But, to be fair, she'd been almost totally out of sight, despite how pitifully tiny their apartment is, for the past couple days; how was he supposed to know that scared little thing would make a break for it?

Oh, God, what if they never find her or she gets hurt or… Felix would die. He  _ loves  _ that stupid cat.

So he goes to his boyfriend and they start searching the area around their apartment building. It's only been a few minutes at most, she can't have gone far. It doesn't really matter though because she's little and the two of them are already freaking out.

He rounds the corner of the building, Felix on the other side, but her name dies on his lips when he sees their neighbor, Kim Woojin, in a tree.

_ Kim Woojin in a tree. _

Kim Woojin, their sexy neighbor that Chan might or might not have had a thing with before he and Felix got together, was sitting on one of the huge, low-hanging branches of the giant oak tree on the side of their building, the one their landlord was always complaining about.

Kim Woojin, who unironically wore leather jackets and rode a motorcycle to his job at the tattoo parlor down the street… Kim Woojin, who got dirty looks from the nice old ladies living a few doors down… Kim Woojin, who made the young mom on the other side of Chan and Felix call her kids inside whenever his friends came around…

That Kim Woojin was in a tree… trying to coax their kitten closer. Because of course Kim Woojin would climb a tree to rescue their cat.

They lock eyes and Woojin quickly ceases baby-talking at the little thing, sitting up a bit too quickly, shaking the whole branch and nearly losing his balance completely.

_ Kim Woojin _ .

"Hey! You found her!" Chan really tried to be casual, like he wasn't struggling to comprehend that their cool, tough neighbor, his ex-fuck buddy, climbed a tree to try to save the kitten his current, precious boyfriend, who's made of literal rays of sunshine and star stuff, is in love with. Or like he's not about to cry in relief to know that the stupid cat's perfectly fine.

"Um, yeah! Sorry, I thought I could just get her down…" Was Kim Woojin blushing? What alternate universe did Chan stumble into?

Like, yeah, he thought Woojin looked a little smitten when they ran into him on their way home from the shelter and Felix let him hold the little thing for a minute. His boyfriend really was a saint; he imagined others might have a problem knowing he and Woojin used to fuck, but Felix was only ever his normal pleasant self around their neighbor.

But smiling at a little kitten is worlds different from risking a broken neck to get it out of a tree.

"Need help?" Woojin nodded, looking relieved. Chan told him to wait while he ran to get Felix, his poor boyfriend sobbing out loud to see his precious baby safely sitting in the tree, totally fine.

It takes nearly half an hour to get their stubborn cat to move close enough to Woojin for him to grab her, then another solid few minutes to help Woojin out of the tree without anyone getting hurt.

Felix cuddled her to his chest like she was his world. She looked bored, maybe a little mad to have been caught.

This was why Chan tried to talk Felix into getting a puppy instead.

"Woojin… oh my God, how could we ever repay you?" If the cat was Felix's world, he was looking at Woojin like he hung the stars. Chan would be jealous if he didn't know Felix so well.

They walk Woojin back to his apartment, thanking him repeatedly and Felix worrying over a scratch on Woojin's arm that the older man brushes off. It's not until the three of them are tucked back in their tiny one bedroom, the kitten rushing off as soon as Felix sets her down, that Chan brings the  _ look  _ up. Felix's 'I could kiss you and maybe suck your dick right now' look.

It's a look Chan has received himself, many times, and one he's seen Felix give to others before, as well. The two of them are really perfect together for a lot of reasons… one of which being that they both really like - and are comfortable with - inviting others into their bed.

So they've both learned to recognize when the other is interested in someone, and Felix has a look. A look he was totally giving to their neighbor.

They've talked about it before, about Woojin. Felix has always found him attractive, even if the way he carries himself was a little off putting. It's not hard for Chan to realize that watching him rescue their kitten from a tree put Felix solidly in the 'let's invite our hot neighbor for a threesome' mindset.

"I just really think that we should thank him, is all," yeah, sure Felix. But it's all good because Woojin was a  _ great  _ fuck… like spectacular, amazing, mind-blowing, and the thought of Felix's beautiful little body under him? Also spectacular, amazing, mind-blowing.

Felix had no problem dragging Chan to the man's apartment the next day for the formal invitation. Felix can be really persuasive and charming when he wants something, and it was pretty entertaining to see confident, suave Woojin thrown decisively off his rhythm by Felix's flirting. It was a game they had played many times before, just usually with strangers. It was… new, propositioning someone they see almost every day, someone that one of them already has a history with…

But, what Felix wants, Felix gets.

So, the next night, Woojin's naked in their bed, all that smooth, tanned skin on display, contrasting beautifully with Felix's paler, more slender body in his lap. It was really something, watching them make out, all wrapped up in each other. Felix's cute little hands were scratching at Woojin's shoulders, Woojin's fisting in his soft blonde hair, kneading at his hip. Chan couldn't hold himself off for long, sliding up behind Woojin, reaching around to rub his palms up and down the older man's soft abdomen, grinding into his lower back. Woojin groaned into Felix's mouth, making the younger man smile. Beautiful.

Woojin had a  _ nice  _ dick, like, really nice. Chan was not disappointed as it slid into his mouth, just as he remembered. Thick, with such a nice weight to it, the skin smooth against his lips… it was all made better by his gorgeous boyfriend's face popping up next to him, pecking his cheek and cheekily asking him to share.

And, yeah, basically making out with his precious, amazing boyfriend around Woojin's beautiful cock?  _ Perfect _ .

_ God _ , what did he ever do to deserve Felix? His boyfriend is amazing for a million reasons, the way he looks when he's sucking dick, how he looks so lovingly at Chan when they're sharing? Just a tiny part of it.

And Woojin seems to appreciate the show, practically trembling under their mouths, eventually pushing them off to stave off his orgasm. Instead, he pushed Chan down on the bed, kissing his aching cock and sucking it down for a bit before Felix helpfully hands him the lube.

Felix will ask to top every once in a while, but the vast majority of the time, he prefers to be the one getting dicked down. And Chan has absolutely no complaints about that, whatsoever. He'd do nothing but fuck Felix silly all day, if he could. That being said, he did like bottoming, himself, and that was a big reason why their arrangement worked so well.

And Woojin was good, prepping him thoroughly while Felix made out with him and stroked his dick. At Felix's insistence, and to Woojin's amusement, they rearranged so Chan could help Felix prep himself, as well.

It was totally worth it.  _ Absolutely worth it. _

Woojin pushing that beautiful dick into him, the stretch just enough to ache despite all the lube and prep, but Felix sinking down onto him like his body was designed to take Chan's dick did everything to soothe the pain and more.

Wow.

And the sight of Felix tilting his head back to press those soft lips to Woojin's, the kiss made messy by the way Felix was bouncing on his cock and Woojin's own movements, hips slapping against Chan's own… just… wow. 

Chan wasn't going to last long.

They had mercy on him, sliding off and out to give him a break. Woojin eagerly maneuvered Felix onto his knees, any earlier nervousness long since gone as he thrusts into the smaller boy in one smooth motion, the sound Felix made in response being absolutely nothing short of pornographic.

God, his boyfriend looked so good when he was getting fucked. He was so sweet and even shy with just about everything unless it involved sex. There was nothing sweet nor shy about the boy tilting his hips up to meet their neighbor's thrusts, face twisted up in ecstacy and deep, breathy moans echoing through the little apartment.

Chan spares a thought for their poor kitten, hiding somewhere, probably scarred for life… oh well, wasn't the first time and definitely wouldn't be the last.

Felix taking Woojin's cock right in front of him was much more fun to focus on.

He bent down to kiss Felix, greedily. The angle was awkward, of course, but, again, so worth it. He'd  _ never  _ get tired of kissing Felix, another thing he'd do all day if he could.

And breathing in his moans as he fell apart on Woojin's dick? All the better.

His boyfriend's moans turning into whines gave him some warning before Felix was pushing at him, giving him enough of a hint to know what he wanted. Felix wasn't always super communicative during sex, verbal, absolutely, but not always great at using his words. Chan's adapted, knows he's telling him he won't last long, to get on his knees so Felix can suck him off.

It was a perfect translation, Felix eagerly taking him down his throat and - oh God, the way his moans feel around his dick? Holy shit.

Woojin's not faring much better, hips starting to lose their rhythm. It all works out though, Felix pulls off him to practically scream through his orgasm - and, yeah, that'll warrant another passive aggressive note from the mom next door.

_ Has Woojin ever listened to them fuck? _

He's taking Chan back into his mouth just moments later, a pro at this kind of thing by now, and that pretty much coincides with the deep groan Woojin releases as he buries himself as deep as he can in Felix's ass, grinding softly against his hips to work through his orgasm.

Chan falls apart seconds later, the sight too much for him. Felix swallows his cum, Chan's shaky hands petting through his hair, in appreciation.

A perfect domino effect. Very rare in their experience, but Woojin was definitely a quality lay.

Afterwards, Chan pushes Woojin and Felix off to go shower - their tiny apartment bathroom already too small for two people, let alone three - while he changes the sheets and tidies up.

He trades places with them, smiling at the little kisses Felix keeps peppering on Woojin's embarrassed face, the cute way he's clinging to the older man. Felix is naturally very physically affectionate, but he can be like a leach after sex. Chan loves it.

When he's out of the shower, Felix has still managed to keep Woojin from running.

They rarely invite people to spend the night. Actually, the only times it's happened might have been on accident, now that he thinks about it, but the urge is strong with Woojin for whatever reason.

And the way Felix keeps giving him pouty looks from where he's practically sitting in the older man's lap seems to suggest that he feels the same.

So they invite him to stay over. He tries to protest, but it doesn't take much for a happy Felix to be able to drag Woojin back to their clean bed, Chan returning the other man's nervous smiles with his own easy, dimpled grins.

So, Woojin spends the night, and maybe they do it again the next day… and the next… maybe it's a while before Woojin gets back to his own apartment. Maybe he also falls head over heels for their shy kitten, and maybe he likes the pancakes Chan makes for breakfast. Maybe he realizes that Felix gives the best back massages ever and maybe he also realizes that their little hand-me-down couch is sized just perfectly for the three of them to slot their bodies in all together… like a puzzle that's finally been completed…

Maybe he only does go home so he can get ready for the date they finally asked him out on.


	2. Felix/Chan - Role Reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CC Prompt: "How about writing your fave ship but with flipped roles?"
> 
> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Established Felix/Chan, Bottom Chan, Top Felix, Sex Toys, Anal Sex  
> Posted: September 23rd, 2019

It was an odd feeling, looking at his boyfriend laid out for him like this.

Felix had never really… done this before.

So it's a bit odd.

But also kind of… exciting?

Chan is on the bed, unstyled curls pillowed on his forearms, legs bent, thighs spread. His toned muscles are slicked with sweat, the soft light of their room highlighting the contours of his back.

Felix's hands are a bit shaky but he gently presses them against the flushed skin of Chan's thigh. He can feel the muscles tighten and release under his palm as the older man lets out a soft breath.

It's odd… it was always Felix in this position, spread out, exposed for Chan, but how could he say no when his boyfriend asked to try something new?

His fingers slowly trace a line up over the soft expanse of pale skin, over the rounded curve of his boyfriend's ass, his mind conjuring the memory of when Chan did this for him the first time.

It wasn't quite as… planned as this. Felix didn't know he was going to lose his virginity until just before it happened, heated kisses and groping hands spontaneously shedding layers in Chan's dingy little apartment. There were no regrets or anything, god no, but maybe the memory is serving as some guidance.

Felix has never done this before.

He'd long ago progressed towards taking an active role in the bedroom… but it was always him getting fucked.

Maybe this shouldn't actually be that much pressure.

He knows Chan has done this before, he's had boyfriends before Felix, after all, almost all of them more experienced and adventurous than he is, from what he's gathered.

But, okay, still… it's his first time and Chan has still been exclusively topping for the past year so…

Pressure.

But… at least he's not… really topping. This should be easier, right?

The toy is well loved, one of his favorites… a gift from Chan, actually. It's not terribly big, not too different from his boyfriend's size. It's lying on the bed, bright red silicone starkly contrasted against Chan's black sheets.

But for now, Felix brings lubed fingers to Chan's hole, gently circling around the rim as he builds up the courage to press inside.

Underneath him, Chan whines, his hips twitching as Felix teases. Poor thing.

The first finger slides in so easily, Chan's body opening right up for him. His boyfriend hums, shifting a bit as Felix works on getting used to the sensation. He's so hot and soft around him… it's better than when he fingers himself. He's not distracted by the feeling in his own ass, can just focus on how Chan's muscles part around his (now two) fingers.

Chan is making soft little noises under him, Felix's free hand rubbing circles into his back. Felix knows from personal experience that his fingers are too short to do much for his boyfriend beyond stretching him open, but he hopes the toy will feel good… he just wants Chan to feel good.

It is a bit of a shame he can't do this properly for his boyfriend, but… well, he can't change his anatomy.

By the fourth finger - that Chan urged him to include - Felix's anxieties are beginning to dissipate.

The silicone feels heavy against his slippery fingers, and even more so as he grips it by the base and carefully lines it up with Chan's puffy entrance, the slick toy nearly slipping from his hold at least once.

But the soft keen his big, composed boyfriend makes as it slowly sinks into him…

They should have done this ages ago.


	3. Chan/The Manager - Rough Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Choking, Rough Sex, Unprotected Sex, Impact Play, Crying, Degradation, Piss, CBT, Dick Stepping, D/s dynamics, Submissive Chan  
> Posted: November 27th, 2019
> 
> NOTE: There isn't much backstory given, but this is all written as consensual. There's parts that may read as consensual non-consent to some. This is pretty intense, please mind the tags and stay safe, skip this one if it's not for you, friends <3

"Get on your fucking knees." Chan's face heats at the same time his body screams in protest, the sudden impact of his knees on the unforgiving pavement vibrating up his spine. A large hand buries itself in his dark curls, yanking his head back and Chan can already feel the uncomfortable pressure building around his tear ducts.

The manager doesn't ask, but Chan doesn't have to be told to part his lips, letting his jaw go slack. A warm glob of spit lands heavy on his tongue, a second hitting his cheekbone and sliding towards his hairline. Chan, again, doesn't have to be told to swallow, even as his face scrunches up miserably.

The man's normally friendly face is sneering down at him while his free hand makes quick work of his belt. Chan swallows in anticipation, wincing at the awkward way his throat is angled, eyes tracking the movement as best they can, fingernails digging into his jean clad thighs.

He can feel his own spit pooling in his open mouth as his hyung's dick is freed, his own cock aching in his jeans but he knows better than to touch. He blinks out a stray tear as he crosses his wrists behind his back to avoid temptation. There's a sharp laugh from above him, and his eyes are closed just in time for another glob of spit to land heavy on his eyelid, gluing it shut. "Such a stupid little slut, huh Channie?"

Chan isn't given a second to process before his head is jerked upright and his manager's hard cock is shoving between his parted lips. He barely remembers to cover his teeth in time, lips stretched wide around it, gagging as it hits the back of his throat.

"Let me in, slut." Tears begin to fall freely from his eyes, but Chan does his best to relax his throat, he really does. No matter how many times they do this, it's still hard… not that that earns him any understanding or patience.

His manager twists both hands into his curls, one at the back of his head, and, when he meets resistance, he puts his weight into forcing Chan's head down on his cock anyway.

Chan's body spasms, knees shifting against rough pavement - probably wearing at his expensive jeans, hands clenching and unclenching behind his back, muscles trembling with the effort to stay still, to be good, to let it happen.

And he sinks down, throat burning painfully the entire way, swallowing desperately around the thick cock as his stomach rolls. The manager groans loud and deep above him.

He's given a second to breathe, and then the process is repeated. Again. And again.

Chan can't think, his brain fuzzy and distant as he's used. There are tears and spit and snot streaming down his face… he can't imagine what he looks like, his makeup absolutely ruined, gagging on his manager's cock, hands held behind his back… his own dick tenting the front of his designer jeans…

Like a whore. A filthy whore.

That's what the man above him tells him, anyway, and Chan can't conjure the thoughts to decide if it's true or not, so he trusts him… that's what he is after all.

His head is yanked away suddenly, and Chan is left gasping, blinking up his manager stupidly. The man is grinning down at him, smearing his dick through the mess of fluids on Chan's cheeks, across the bridge of his nose, around his swollen, red, gaping lips - Chan closes them in a kiss around his head, sucking and licking at the salty, slightly bitter precum leaking from the tip, it was somehow both worse and better than the sweetish taste of his own. The man laughs, pulling away and back handing him so hard his vision goes fuzzy.

He's shoved onto his back before he can fully recover, just barely tensing his neck in time to keep his head from slamming into the concrete. His elbows and forearms burn from his weak attempt to catch his body weight as he fell; he thinks they might be bleeding but he can't focus on that.

Not when his manager is kicking his thighs apart and resting his boot on the front of Chan's crotch threateningly.

Chan can only shiver on the cold ground, eyes locked onto the foot pressing onto his hard dick, his thighs thrown wide open, accepting.

The man chuckles, hand stroking lazily along his his cock, moving his boot in slow circles against Chan's crotch and the slut just can't help himself, hips jerking up against the hard textured sole. He's not given a moment for regret before his manager is pressing his weight onto him; Chan's body curls tightly, breath stilling in his lungs, thighs clenching up around the unforgiving boot digging into his dick and balls, crushing them against his pelvis. "Pathetic."

_ Pathetic. _

The word echoes in Chan's mind as he squeals, body crunching up as much as it can, fresh tears wetting his cheeks. That slip-resistant sole is ground down harshly, and Chan can't think, can barely breathe. He's shaking, body practically vibrating. His safe word flickers across his mind… he takes a second, tries to center himself and think through if he needs to use it… but no.

He can handle this.

It feels like an eternity before the pressure is gone, and Chan sobs brokenly, collapsing back on the ground. He barely registers the cruel laughter from above him, or the hands tugging at his waistband… it's not until his lower body is completely bare that it hits him, the sound of a travel sized tube of lube being uncapped echoing in his ears.

He whines as one of his thighs is pressed up against his chest, muscles protesting the stretch, but his manager doesn't care, pressing a thick, slippery finger inside him. Chan shivers, clenching down at the sudden chill, but he isn't given time to adjust. The man moves mechanically, thrusting and shifting until he can press a second finger inside, too. A hiccup forces its way out of his raw throat, jaw clenching as he's worked open harshly. There's no thought given to his pleasure, his comfort; his manager works efficiently, too efficiently, to stretch him open… like he's just an object. A toy.

There are three thick fingers splitting him open; Chan already feels so sore, so used… he can only whimper pathetically as they're replaced with his hyung's cock. The man is relentless, pressing and pressing, forcing Chan's body to stretch and rearrange around him, until his warm hips are pressed against Chan's ass with a deep groan.

Chan can feel every burning inch of him as he draws out slowly, his abused rim aching in protest even as that pressure builds inside him, the thing he craves… and then his cock slams back home and the younger man screams, back arching off the cold ground. A heavy palm is slapped over his mouth, muffling the noise, so Chan can do nothing but sob into it as a brutal pace is set.

He feels like he's losing his mind, squirming pathetically on the ground, fingers clenching helplessly in his manager's jacket as the man pounds into him mercilessly. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the air, Chan's body jerking roughly against the cold concrete with each thrust. And still, Chan can feel himself winding up as he's filled and his prostate is brushed with each thrust.

"Fucking slut… take it, bitch," his hyung groans breathlessly, sweat beading at his temples, but he won't let up. Chan's gonna lose his fucking mind, his abused dick slowly beginning to fill again.

"Yeah, you fucking love this don't you?" His manager huffs out a laugh, sweaty palm moving from his mouth, letting all of Chan's obscene little whines and gasps out.

That hand connects with his thigh sharply, leaving the skin stinging. "I asked you a fucking question, whore."

Oh g-d.

"I-" Chan sobs; his head's so fuzzy. He can't think.

He's spanked again, harder this time, and he can feel the heat building under the skin as he wails.

"I lo-" His manager shifts, and he's suddenly hitting that spot so fucking well, a broken moan cutting Chan off, eyes rolling back in his head.

He's slapped again.

"I love it!"

His voice echoes off the walls, and the man above him laughs, "filthy little bitch."

Chan can feel it getting closer, wound so fucking tight…

And then a hand is closing around his throat. Chan tenses, clenching down painfully as his manager continues to pound into him. His eyes open wide and pleading, fingers twitching at his sides.

Chan can feel his face going red, pressure building under his skin as the man above him squeezed harder, pressed more of his weight down, grip bruising. His vision grows fuzzy, body numb as his manager continues to pound into him mercilessly. His mouth is hanging open, shallow wheezes of air escaping his raw, swollen throat, tears streaming from his eyes.

"Stupid fucking slut," his hyung growls as Chan finally breaks and can't stop himself from clawing at the hand pressing on his throat, legs twitching weakly in a hopeless effort of his oxygen deprived body to fight back. Everything starts going dark, his body jerking in weak convulsions…

And then the weight is off his throat and Chan is sucking in desperate gulps of air. There's a ringing in his ears, his skin tingling painfully and… and laughter.

"You pathetic fucking whore," the man above him is laughing, gasping for breath right along with Chan, " _ disgusting _ ."

And then it hits him, the acidic taste on the air he's choking on, the rapidly cooling wetness on his stomach and chest. 

He pissed himself.

Chan sobs harder, the sound broken and raspy, as the man continues to laugh. His head is knocked to the side, a sharp stinging on the sensitive skin of his cheek. He clenches around the cock pounding into his ass, whimpering pathetically; everything hurts so much and he's fucking  _ disgusting _ .

His head spins when the man suddenly pulls out, his aching hole clenching around nothing.

He can only blink up at the man above him, broken and used, tears streaming down his filthy face, as thick ropes of cum paint his piss-stained chest.

There's no energy left to fight, even when his manager coats his fingers in the mess and forces them between Chan's lips, smearing his own piss and the man's cum onto his tongue.

Chan doesn't have to be asked to swallow.

And he doesn't have to be reminded to say "Thank you".


	4. Felix/Chan - Heat Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Heat Sex, Omega Felix, Alpha Chan, Suppressants  
> Posted: September 22nd, 2019
> 
> Little drabble from a universe I created then did nothing with.

Felix had never been one to deny himself.

He knew being an omega could be… not ideal? He knows people treat him differently because of it; he'd be stupid not to see that, but people put weight on secondary genders… that's just the way it is, and he's not sure if he'd prefer people treat him like a beta or alpha. There's pros and cons to all of them, and sometimes - a lot of the time - he likes to just… let things happen.

He knows Seungmin doesn't get that, and he really does feel for his fellow omegan member, but that's just not his thing.

Felix has never been the type to deny himself what he and his nature wants.

Like Chan.

This wasn't planned; it rarely is with Felix. His suppressants do a lot to keep him from feeling the full effects of his heat, from distracting others. For the most part, he should be able to go about his day, business as usual, without letting the clenching in his gut and the fire under his skin dictate his needs… that's what omegas are technically supposed to do.

Ignore it.

Deny it.

That had never been Felix's mindset.

Maybe he has less control than Seungmin does. Maybe he's a bad member of a modern society for not being able to push through on his own.

Chan doesn't seem to be complaining.

It's early in the morning, well before they need to be anywhere, well before any of their other members have arisen, and Felix is wrapped up in Chan's body, hidden away in their dorms heat room.

It's a small space, a room they all mostly ignore when it's not the one week a year where he and Seungmin and the alphas have to go through their respective heats and ruts unsuppressed. There's a soft bed on the floor, piled with pillows and soft blankets that feel so nice against Felix's back, even as they cling to his sweat slicked skin. A dim lamp in the corner illuminates Chan's figure above him, the warm glow accentuating the contours of his toned form, the drawn look on his face as he pulls away from the marks he's been biting into Felix's pale neck.

Chan is gorgeous. That's just a fact.

But he's exceptionally beautiful like this, soft dark hair tousled and damp, pupils blown wide from even the relatively weak pheromones Felix is putting out, defined muscles clenching as he physically holds himself back…

No.

None of that.

Felix spreads his hands over the smooth skin of Chan's shoulders, over the bumps and ridges of his strong body, appreciates the tension he feels there. Chan is practically trembling under his fingertips, wide eyes staring at Felix's face with an intensity he's not 100% sure how to handle at the moment.

If this was a _real_ heat, Felix would have been a goner ages ago, Chan, too, probably. As it is, it's hard to hold back his whines, hard to ignore the slick wetting the blankets underneath him, the urge to say anything and everything to get Chan to let go and give him what he needs.

So he doesn't.

Felix thinks there's something poetic about the animalistic, instinct driven nature of heat sex. Yeah, it's dirty, filthy, uncivilized; omegas in heat are suppressed and/or banished to heat rooms to keep up appearances, pretend that society has progressed beyond its instincts.

And, yes, even as Chan ruts into his body, even as his teeth draw blood to just under the skin of Felix's clavicle - a bruise that is meant to work with those on his neck to bind the two of them together for at least the duration of this heat, to ward off other potential _suitors_ \- Felix knows they're equals here, that Chan would stop in a heartbeat if he asked him to, that his leader wouldn't expect anything else from him after they’ve left this room.

Progress in society doesn’t have to - and shouldn’t - mean pretending that there isn’t something so _right_ about their bodies tangled up in each other. 

This is all probably the heat talking.

In a few days, Chan’s gonna do something stupid and Felix will smack him like he usually does with a complaint and a promise that the alpha’s never getting anywhere near his ass again. He’ll roll his eyes and say he can’t believe he ever even considered seeking Chan out for his heat. Chan will probably pout and whine, insist that Felix knows they always have a good time together as their members all laugh their asses off around them.

Felix will deny everything, probably cuddle up to one of the betas for good measure, and swear off alphas forever…

Like he’s done before.

And Chan will think back to this exact moment: Felix arching off the bed as he has one of the best orgasms of his life around Chan’s cock, eyes rolling into the back of his head, slick coating his leader’s thighs and seeping from between his fingers where they’re wrapped around his sore little cock.

He’ll think about how Felix came another three times on his knot, about how Felix’s heat drunk brain made him babble out promises of spending the rest of his life getting fucked by Chan in this little room.

He’ll think about how they fucked four more times over the course of Felix’s “suppressed” heat and about how the omega basically clung to him for the entire week.

He’ll know Felix doesn’t mean it.

He never does, after all.


	5. Felix/Hyunjin - Strip Club AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Mature/Explicit  
> Tags: Stripper Hyunjin, Crossdressing, Hyunjin in a Skirt, Bouncer Felix, Exhibitionism, Public Masturbation, Implied Established Hyunjin/Felix  
> Written: November 17th, 2019
> 
> Written for a timed write game with ImpishHaechan and BigBoyParty (thank Eli for "The Cuntry Club")

“Welcome to the Cuntry Club”

The sign was garrish, as was just about everything in the sleazy strip club on the outskirts of town, just far enough away to make the whole endeavor legal, but Felix didn’t mind. The pay was good… despite the ungodly number of drunken, pot-bellied men he dragged out the double doors each night.

He liked being a bouncer. Sure, it wasn’t great… but it paid the bills and…

Yeah, and there was Hyunjin.

Or “Sam” as the fine patrons of the Cuntry Club called him.

Felix squinted against the bright lights streaming from the stage as an almost offensive remix of some Big Band song began blasting through the speakers. The Cuntry Club had only the most refined of playlists after all.

Not that anyone could care.

Not with Hyunjin on the stage.

Hyunjin, dressed only in a slutty mockery of a tennis skirt and a flowy black top… yeah, he was definitely one of the highlights of Felix’s job.

The crowd of drunken men roared, beer splashing on the floor, as Hyunjin sashayed across the platform, a huge showy smile painted on his face, winking dramatically at the men below him.

Fuck, he was gorgeous.

The burning stage lights were already producing a glistening sheen on his tanned skin, catching the glow, further pronouncing his toned thighs - and tight abs as he cheekily raised his shirt.

He looked… fucking unreal.

Felix shifted, trying to be discreet about adjusting himself in his pants, but it didn’t matter. All eyes were trained firmly on Hyunjin as he adjusted to the rhythm of the music, hips rolling back to the beat and the screams of his audience, that smirk firmly planted on his face.

He hooked his fingers under his shirt, blowing an exaggerated kiss to the crowd, before lifting it up over his head and flinging it into the lap of a thrilled trucker who waved it overhead like a trophy, his friends patting him on the back.

Hyunjin giggled, but Felix could see the tense concentration in his face as he rolled his hips, slid his hands over that toned body, completely focused on putting his all into this objectively trashy strip tease, fingers teasing at the edge of his skirt...

Fuck.

A month ago, when Felix first got this job, he might have cum in his pants if Hyunjin made eye contact with him like that, but this wasn’t the first time. Still, he had to bite back the whine that rose in his throat, thighs clenching together…

Hyunjin’s gaze… his everything really, it never failed to set Felix off, stopping the breath in his throat, forcing all the blood in his body south...

Hyunjin’s attention snapped back to the audience and Felix managed a shaky breath, slipping back into the shadows by the door, making sure to keep Hyunjin’s glistening, rocking figure in sight.

His back pressed against the wall, small palm pressing against the front of his jeans, he let his own hips match a more discreet version of Hyunjin’s rhythm. His bottom lip stung as his teeth dug into the delicate skin, thighs shaking as his eyes raked over smooth, toned muscles, the too-short pleated skirt swaying obscenely, revealing hints of the bright, skimpy lace panties he wore underneath.

He wondered if Hyunjin knew, if that smirk was really for him.

He could almost hear his voice now, feel those strong hands on his slim hips.

_ “Awh, you started without me? Needy boy...”  _

Even as Felix shuddered in the dark corner of this sleazy little strip club, body trembling, legs weak, face scrunched in pleasure…

He could only think of closing time, all the gross, sweaty men stumbling home, the bartender locking up, and Hyunjin holding him down, fucking him hard into the musty couch of the back dressing room.

Working at the Cuntry Club definitely had it’s perks.


	6. Hyunjin/Seungmin - Pet Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Pet Play, Puppy Hyunjin, Bunny Seungmin, Dom Seungmin, Sub Hyunjin, Unconventional Pet Play, Top Seungmin, Bottom Hyunjin  
> Posted: December 5th, 2019

Hyunjin whimpers, squirming restlessly against the mattress; every movement makes the heavy plug shift inside him as the rubber tail attachment sways through the air. His cheek is pressed against soft sheets, fingers tangled in them. He rubs his face against the fabric, the cute headband he'd so meticulously arranged into his hair earlier being knocked askew.

His body is burning up, his thoughts distant and disorganized, racing through his mind; each one is fleeting, rushing past just beyond his reach of comprehension.

He can't think past the intense need that's coiling in his muscles, a desperate desire rooted deep in his belly, making his limbs shaky and weak, his aching cock twitch uselessly where it hangs heavy between his spread thighs.

He can just barely hear the soft, controlled movements of the man behind him, but every reminder of his presence, of the promise it holds, ratchets the tension in his body a degree higher.

Hyunjin feels so far gone, floaty, 

Even something as simple as shifting to look back over his shoulder is difficult… but there Seungmin is and now he can't tear his gaze away.

His boyfriend is  _ gorgeous _ , always, but…  _ fuck. _

His warm, honey toned skin is almost completely bare, thin body on display, head held high, something  _ predatory  _ in his gaze as their eyes meet… and the soft white thigh thighs clinging to his legs, the delicate lace panties distorted obscenely by his hard cock, the fluffy bunny ear headband - pink sparkles and all… something in Hyunjin's brain breaks. It's too much.

Seungmin's too much.

"Is my poor puppy getting impatient?" Seungmin's voice drips honey sweet from his full, upturned lips, thin hips swaying teasingly as he slowly stalks closer; the briefest peak at his little fluffy tail plug, which he knows must be tucked carefully around the thin string of his thong, flashes into view. Hyunjin's trembling with tension, anticipation, an overwhelming  _ need  _ to have that breathtakingly beautiful boy's hands on his body. He has  _ absolutely  _ no control over the pitiful whine that tears from his throat, the obscene mix of Seungmin looking like  _ that _ , talking like  _ that _ .

Hyunjin's losing his g-ddamn mind.

"Shh, it's okay..." Hyunjin can't stop his whimper, face burying in the sheets as finally,  _ finally, _ Seungmin's long fingers begin to trace along the tensed, bowed line of his back; gooseflesh rises in their wake and shivers shoot down his spine. 

"Awwh," Seungmin giggles, fingertips tracing up over the soft curve of his tailbone… and then slowly brushing up the length of his heavy rubber tail, cooing in that same dangerously sweet voice, "puppy's so wet for me… making a mess already, huh?"

Oh.

Hyunjin can feel it, the precum leaking from his aching cock, can imagine the wet patch growing on his boyfriend's pristine sheets, already so ruffled from his squirming and tugging - the sleek hospital corners probably completely ruined... He feels his cheeks burn impossibly hotter.

"Hmmm such a dirty mutt…" Hyunjin yelps as a large palm connects with his exposed ass cheek, the harsh slapping sound echoing through Seungmin's tidy bedroom before the sting even registers in his mind. "Maybe bunny shouldn't play with such a filthy boy after all-"

"No! Please! Puppy can be good-" Seungmin's hand slapping  _ hard  _ against the same spot from earlier has the breath stilling in his chest - and only then does he realize his mistake.

"I'm sorry." Hyunjin whines subconsciously at the sudden shift in Seungmin's tone, his usually kind, sweet voice now cold and dangerous. "I don't think that's how good puppies ask for what they want."

A smooth palm glides over Hyunjin's hot, stinging skin.

"How about we try again: does puppy want bunny to fuck his greedy little hole?"

Hyunjin shudders, tensed muscles aching as he slowly lifts his head; desperate, embarrassed tears slipping down his heated cheeks as he meets his gorgeous boyfriend's eyes.

"Woof!"

That smile, so beautiful and sweet, but with something so… intense, dangerous,  _ predatory _ lurking somewhere in the uneven crescents of Seungmin's eyes… 

  
_ "Good boy _ ."


	7. Hyunjin/Jisung  - Public Crossdressing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Mature  
> Tags: Feminization, Hyunjin in a Skirt, Established Hyunjin/Jisung, D/s Dynamics, Dom Jisung, Sub Hyunjin, Exhibitionism, Public Humiliation, Praise Kink  
> Posted: ???
> 
> Written for the CC Prompt: "Hyunsung + Public Humiliation & Praise Kink"

Hyunjin was going to die.

He was sure it was possible, had to have happened to someone somewhere before… dying of embarrassment; he could probably google it and come up with all sorts of stories and examples, but he doesn't even have his phone.

He doesn't even have pockets.

It's safely tucked somewhere in Jisung's jacket... His big, comfy, full-coverage jacket.

Hyunjin was going to die.

He could  _ feel  _ it; his heart was racing, sweat beading at his temples, breathing uneven no matter how many times he tried to calm it down… he was going to die.

Because he could  _ feel _ everyone's eyes on him, even as his own gaze was glued to the concrete just a step ahead of his shiny new baby pink mary janes, fresh out of the box in a custom ordered size, carefully hugging the silky white socks that stretched up his too long, too muscley, too hairy legs to end in a puff of frilly lace just above his knee.

They've never  _ done _ this before.

Hyunjin had never- he was  _ never _ going to leave the house like this, no matter what they did behind closed doors…

But Jisung-  _ fuck _ , his boyfriend just had to bat those big pretty eyes of his enough times, had to open his smart mouth so much…

"You're doing so fucking well for me, baby."

And, fuck, Hyunjin was really so ridiculously whipped. Just a few kind, soft-spoken words and his dick was twitching traitorously in the delicate lace panties Jisung had lovingly helped him slide up his thighs that morning-

Hyunjin's hands tightened at the base of his skirt, teeth worrying at his bottom lip anxiously. This was why he didn't wear the gloss Jisung had tried to talk him into - he was a mess, and it would have all been sucked off as soon as they left the relative safety of their apartment building… for the streets… where g-d knows how many strangers have already seen him like-

Like  _ this _ .

Jisung's hand tightened at Hyunjin's waist, the comforting outline of his rings digging into the exposed skin there in a way he both loved and hated. Hyunjin's fingers continued to fret over the hemline of his skirt, holding the scant pink plaid fabric firmly in place, but also desperate for something to do, a distraction - anything to keep his mind from trying to process the confusing mix of emotions swirling chaotically in his hazy mind.

He felt high off it all, so overwhelmed it was like his brain was shutting down.

It was just…

_ So much. _

"Are you doing okay?" It's such a loaded question, and Hyunjin knows Jisung already knows the answer anyway, so he doesn't hesitate to offer a shakey nod, gaze still locked on the concrete in front of them as they continued to walk, narrowly squeezing past strangers, trying to ignore the double takes they gave him, their elevator eyes sliding up and down his exposed body… practically indecent.

Jisung's hand tightens again, but he yanks Hyunjin to a stop, guiding him up against the wall of the nearest building as the other pedestrians continue past. "You know your word?"

Another shaky nod, but it earns him a solid pinch on the exposed skin of his waist. Jisung's voice lowers, "look at me, baby."

Hyunjin does, lifting his chin just enough to meet Jisung's eyes and…  _ wow _ . Jisung's gaze was full of love and concern, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at Hyunjin, hands travelling to intertwine his fingers with the older boy's between their bodies.

Hyunjin couldn't help the way his heart swelled.

"You remember your safeword, angel?" His voice is softer now, and Hyunjin can almost pretend like this, pretend it's just the two of them, the noisy street and bustling pedestrians behind them fading away.

"Yes…"

Jisung smiled gently up at him; it never ceased to amaze Hyunjin how his boyfriend could make him feel so small. "Good boy, just say it and everything stops, okay? We'll go straight home, sweetheart."

Hyunjin took a deep breath, nodding his head and offering a small smile even as his thighs squeezed together.

Jisung grinned brightly and looped his arm back around Hyunjin's waist, guiding him carefully back into the flow of people. They were barely five steps forward when Jisung pulled him close, small body tucking up against Hyunjin's side, his voice low, just barely reaching the older man, "always so fucking perfect for me, darling."

Hyunjin stumbled in his pretty new shoes, knees feeling weak as he shakily corrected himself, his flushed skin growing impossibly redder, fingers fumbling to catch his too-short skirt.

He was going to die.

But if his embarrassment was stemming less and less from his skimpy, feminine clothes and more from how hard and desperate he was growing in his pretty lace panties…

Only Jisung, grinning smugly at his side, would ever know.


	8. Jisung/Felix - Daddy Kink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Daddy Kink, Topping From the Bottom, Sub Top Jisung, Dom Bottom Felix, Daddy Dom Felix, Baby Boy Jisung, Anal Sex, Praise Kink  
> Posted: January 6th, 2020
> 
> Written for the CC anon request "Jilix + Daddy Felix"

"Fuck baby," Felix groaned, his voice so ung-dly deep, Jisung could feel it in the pit of his gut, his hips jerking involuntarily up into the hot body on top of him. Felix groaned, head thrown back, his pretty little hands planting on Jisung's chest as he ground his hips down and oh  _ fuck. _

Jisung blinked through his tears, not wanting to miss a second even as he trembled and his mind began to dissolve into an endless litany of ' _ so good, too good, fuck' _ . 

Felix was gorgeous, always, it almost seems dumb to have to say, it's just a fact, and he just- fuck when he's… he's  _ otherworldly _ when he's fucking.

"So perfect for me, darling, feels so fucking good…" Felix groans and Jisung whimpers, hands clenching and twisting uselessly in the wrist bind Felix had lovingly tied them in before securing them to the headboard. It was so hard to not touch, to have to just lay there as Felix took his pleasure from his body because  _ fuck _ Jisung was so overwhelmed. And how could he not be?

His eyes blinked up at the beautiful man in his lap, tears finally beginning to spill when Felix lifted up so agonizingly slow only to drop himself back down, punching the most pornographic moan from his own parted lips, and it was just so  _ good _ ; it felt so fucking  _ good _ and Felix looked so, so fucking  _ good _ , sounded so  _ good. _ His tight abs clenched and glistened in the faint light as his hips rolled and his breathing grew heavy, eyelashes fluttering, bitten red lips shining, matching the bright color of his hair… Jisung couldn't get enough, his own body clenching and shuddering, feet kicking against the mattress every time Felix took him all the way, lips trembling as he whined and whimpered.

"Feel good, baby? Like it when Daddy rides you?" Felix hissed, grinding himself down, and  _ fuck _ -

"Yes! Daddy!" Jisung sobbed, squirming under Felix's intense gaze, the ropes digging into his wrists as he tugged at them futilely.

He just wanted to touch, to hold his daddy close, and  _ feel _ him more, and, and, and-

Felix practically growled, his hands grabbing Jisung's cheeks roughly as he bent down and crashed their lips together, so fucking rough and bruising and  _ filthy _ as Felix continued to roll his hips, forearms pinning Jisung's shoulders to the mattress. The older boy desperately tried to kiss back in between sobs, everything about it filthy and clumsy and desperate as Felix began losing his rhythm. His pretty little cock slid through the precum collecting on Jisung's abs, his body clenching impossibly tighter around the boy's cock.

" _ Fuck _ ." Felix groaned against his lips, the rumble revibrating through both their chests and straight to Jisung's dick and he could only sob, jerking under the younger boy's tight body.

" _ Please _ ," he gasped, voice so high pitched and whiney against the background of Felix's low moans, "'m close, Daddy,  _ please _ ."

"Gonna-  _ fuck _ \- gonna cum for Daddy, baby boy?" Felix hissed, his body speeding up, grip tightening on Jisung's jaw.

"Yes!" Jisung practically wailed, heels digging into the sheets and hips jerking up clumsily even though he knew he wasn't supposed to, but it just felt so  _ good _ and he was so fucking  _ close _ . "Daddy,  _ please!" _

" _ G-d _ ," Felix gasped, "so good,  _ fuck _ , so fucking good for me, baby."

Jisung sobbed, muscles bulging as he writhed on the damp sheets. He was so close, so so so close. Fuck. Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck. _

"Cum for me, baby boy."

And that was all it took to send Jisung rocketing over the edge, Felix's gravelly, fucked out voice in his ear, the feeling of little, soft knuckles bumping against his clenching stomach as Felix twisted his fist around his own cock, clenching down and practically milking the orgasm from him.

It was always so fast, so much, so intense…

Jisung's body slowly eased, his panting breaths softening, hazy eyes fluttering closed…

He's vaguely aware of Felix's soft laugh… a gentle kiss on his forehead… little fingers twisting at his bindings… a damp rag on his skin… a warm body curling into his side…

Jisung always sleeps best after a night with daddy.


	9. Chan-Centric - Studio Masturbation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, Referenced Chan/Jisung, Voice Kink  
> Posted: March 19th, 2020
> 
> Written for the CC anon request "Chan having a collection of recordings of fucking Sungie in the studio uwu"

With everything going on, Chan's had so few moments like this. 

Moments alone, moments in the studio… moments in the studio alone…

The Japanese debut is exciting and rerecording has been time consuming and all of the craziness as their second anniversary approaches… it's all great and Chan would never complain about spending time with his members, working, doing what he loves, but…

This is nice, too.

Chan doesn't have to work to remember when the last time he got off was; it's right there on the audio track - entirely  _ too long  _ ago, but this feels like making up for lost time.

The door is locked, his best headphones are on, the folder pulled up on the massive producer-grade computer screens is titled 'Rejects' - even though it's full of his favorite recordings that he's ever created… anything to keep wandering eyes from snooping.

They're his favorites, but there's nothing more private than this.

" _ Harder - h- harder, Chris, please!" _

Chan feels the vibrations in his chest, even if the only moan in his ears is one he let out months earlier. He doesn't need to hear the slick, wet sounds of his hips, Jisung's barely contained screams, to remember exactly how quickly he complied with the request, just how tightly his whole body had been wound at that exact moment, the feeling of Jisung's tight little ass clenching around his cock…

His lubed up hand is a poor substitute, but it's better than nothing, and he doesn't even need to think - it's already set itself to the rhythm of slapping skin, the bpm of this memory.

_ "Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ , Chris, oh g-d, oh fuck, I'm gonna-" _ Jisung's words cut out on a shout, and Chan's head hits the back of his computer chair as his fist tightens impossibly - trying his best to recreate the unbelievable feeling of the younger man clenching around him as he shakes apart under Chan's hands, cums from the feeling of Chan fucking his ass.

Jisung's really incredible… and months-younger Chan echoes that sentiment as the slapping ends abruptly, his gruff orgasm voice not properly conveying the fondness he knows is hidden under it.

G-d it's really been too long.

His clean hand is shakey as he quickly selects another at random… or that's what he tells himself… even if he always ends up gravitating towards this particular recording, anyway.

He didn't even think it'd be good, back when he recorded it, and Jisung had laughed at him for it, but,  _ fuck _ , he has absolutely no regrets.

" _ Comfy _ ?" Past him whispers gently, and Chan doesn't need a visual to hear the happy smile in his voice. And he doesn't need to hear or see for the phantom memory of Jisung's soft hair brushing across his fingers to light every one of his senses on fire. Chan can never bring himself to edit out these beginnings… the soft words they shared just moments after the recording began, the warming giggles and hushed voices as they worked each other up.

Maybe it's weird that he's still steadily jacking himself off as he listens, Jisung's teasing - decidedly not sexual - voice filling his ears as they quietly banter back and forth before anything starts. His own voice is hushed in this one - more so than usual, the mic is typically set up by Jisung's head anyway, but this time it was particularly close.

" _ I can't believe you're making me record an ASMR of me sucking your dick." _ Past Jisung laughs a bit too loudly into the microphone, stinging Present Chan's ears, but he can hardly care. He remembers this… remembers it so  _ very  _ well, and the soft slick sound of Jisung sucking the head of Chan's dick into his mouth comes before Past Chan can think of a comeback, just like he remembers, a soft gasp taking the place of words.

Jisung didn't hold back.

Chan doesn't hold back now.

It seems like mere moments before the deep squelching and gagging sounds of Jisung bobbing his head and fucking his own throat on Past Chan's cock are the only things inhabiting the space where Present Chan's rational mind once existed. He gives up on following Jisung's pace quickly because his hand could never do justice to what recording this had felt like.

His eyes have slipped closed and there's nothing but the feeling of his slick hand stripping over his cock rapidly, as fast as his arm can go, and the fucking obscene noises Jisung's pretty little mouth and throat had made around him all those months ago.

He's close already. He's not surprised.

His fingers latch around the head of his cock, gripping and twisting and swirling there, where he's most sensitive, where it feels the best, as his impatient body grows more and more desperate. He can practically feel Jisung's shoulder's brushing his thighs - they've gotten broader since this particular recording… Chan let's his legs fall open to accommodate for that. His free hand clenches in his soft fabric of his hoodie - a poor substitute for Jisung's long, downy soft hair, but the muscle memory, the choking whines Past Jisung is making with his stuffed throat as Past Chan does what he currently can't… it's just close enough.

His orgasm rocks through his entire body, cum shooting up onto his hoodie, abdomen muscles clenching almost painfully, thighs squeezing closed around the imaginary Jisung his mind had placed there…

The recording ends at almost the same time, but Past Chan didn't make a mess of himself. Past Chan got to tug a dizzy, grinning Jisung into his lap and kiss the sweet taste of his own cum off his swollen lips…

Present Chan doesn't let himself go soft, and clicks onto the next audio clip before he's even fully aware of what he's doing.

He doesn't get many moments like this.

Best not to waste it.


	10. Seungmin/Unnamed Male Character - Hoods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Seungmin-centric, Master/Slave Dynamics, Sensory Deprivation, Hoods, Leather Bondage, Subspace, Sub Seungmin  
> Posted: March 29th, 2020
> 
> Note: For funsies, try reading while listening to white noise through headphones. A little extra ~immersion~ for you!

Reality… 

Existence… 

Time…

They all slip from Seungmin until nothing but the fleeting memory of them remains, distant and hazy… like an ancient mythology he'd read somewhere once… an idea of them in his mind, but so difficult now to comprehend, so far away… unable to distinguish fact from fiction, real from imaginary…

Nothing feels certain. Not even the thoughts flitting weakly through his mind, just out of focus, just quiet enough that all meaning is lost to the roaring in his ears. Not the silken bed under his back, nor the soft but unyielding pressure of padded restraints against his skin, nor the all encompassing smell of leather that surrounds him… it's all gotten so muddled, so lost in the confusion…

There is nothing but the noise.

Like the roaring of a waterfall, of harsh wind against a window pane… maybe… even as the thoughts come to him they drift away and he's left unsure of a time when there  _ wasn't  _ the static in his ears, drowning his brain, clouding and scattering his thoughts…

But that can't be true…

He knows it's not…

He thinks… he thinks he knows...

But any attempts to center himself, to come back down… they all fall apart, cracking and breaking under the static, doubts and uncertainties seeping in until they melt away… back into nothingness…

Which is why Master likes this game…

_ Is this even a game? _

Master… is… he's coming back…

_ Is he? _

It's too hard, and the roaring is  _ so loud _ . Seungmin just let's it sweep him away, tells himself he has no choice, that it's okay… that it always comes to this…

_ Has he done this before? _

Yes… this isn't… there's been many times… hasn't there?

It's too much, too overwhelming.

So Seungmin sinks… and drifts… and let's himself slip far away…

Until a tether Seungmin hadn't been aware of before is suddenly yanked, and he's forced violently back to his body, the present,  _ reality _ .

A touch to his thigh, barely there, just the faintest hint of soft leather gloves gliding across his skin, but after an eternity of nothingness that gossamer sensation is  _ everything _ .

_ Master _ .

Suddenly Seungmin is all too aware of bare skin laid out across silken sheets and padded cuffs pressing unfailingly into his wrists and ankles as he strains and reaches for an anchor, for contact, for  _ anything  _ to ground him.

There is still only darkness before his eyes, but now soft lashes brush against the barrier that feels all too real and all too complete.

There is still only that  _ sound _ echoing in the space between his ears, but now each twist of his head shifts warm leather just enough for him to be aware of it, of the sweat between it and his skin, of the  _ heat. _

But there is also those hands, pressing his clumsy, restrained leg firmly into silken sheets, so soft against his carefully waxed and pampered skin…

Only the best for his Master…

Any noise he tries to make, any words, they're garbled by an aching jaw stretched wide around resilient silicone, and then completely overtaken by the rushing in his ears until he can't be certain he managed to make any noise at all, the burn in his throat the only indication that his pleas might be heard…

Yet Master's strong hands continue to hold his legs firm, showing no sign of understanding his distress…

Is he even distressed?

He must be… his heart is pounding, his breathing short… he can feel them now, aware of the way the mask shifts with each gust of air moving through the small holes built into it, the pulsing of his veins against his biceps, his thighs, between his hips…

Oh.

Yet his mind is blank, only able to focus on the feeling of soft leather moving along his skin…

Master will take care of him.

He always does.

And it's that thought that breaks through the static just long enough to still his movements, to gradually slow his breathing, to sink back into the soft mattress…

Let's him focus on the way Master's gloved hand smooths over his skin, gliding steadily up his thigh… closer and closer to where Seungmin's only now realizing he desperately needs it. The touch sends shivers through his body, heat pooling in the space between his sharp hipbones, making him suddenly very aware of his insistent arousal, the damp weight of his cock against his belly.

The expensive mattress hardly shifts, and Seungmin is battling to focus on whether he imagined the movement or not when the much more solid and inescapable feeling of warm leather-clad fingers pressing into his waist startles him. His abdomen muscles contract, back arching to press into the touch, hands straining helplessly against their binds, so desperate to feel, to cling at his Master's strong body… or maybe to take himself into hand… or both…

It's so  _ loud _ .

But he can barely move, his limbs solidly restrained, spread eagle across his Master's large bed. He tries to imagine the picture he makes and it comes to him in flashes, fleeting images through the static in his noisy mind... his long, thin limbs stretched wide, miles of flushed skin exposed, his cock straining and desperate… then the hood… just a wanton, needy,  _ lewd  _ body with no face, completely vulnerable and helpless, just for his Master's entertainment.

His cock jerks pathetically against his stomach, and still Master's hands tease at him, refuse to give him relief.

_ What would be the fun in that? _

One continues to glide over his smooth legs, randomly pausing to dig harshly into his skin and the tensing muscles underneath, sometimes igniting old bruises that make Seungmin shake and strain, his throat hoarse and drool leaking from his stretched mouth, just making the hood even more damp and filthy against his skin… not even knowing if he's making so much as a sound for his troubles… 

And still the other sweeps up over the hills and valleys of his ribcage, tracing the natural lines up his body and onto his chest, brushing over hardened, sensitized nipples, sending shocks of pleasure down his spine to pool deep in his hips…

It's like every nerve ending in Seungmin's body has been rewired to connect to his aching, leaking cock, and it's all somehow  _ too much  _ but  _ not enough _ at the same time. 

It just scrambles his mind even further, unable to keep up with anything, let alone think, between the roaring in his ears and the darkness around him and the possessive hands toying with his exposed body.

And relief never seems to come.

Not when Master's thick, gloved fingers slip between his spread thighs, slick and cool, to press insistently into his hole - still relaxed and loose… distant memories of Master making him press toys into himself while he watched… it could have been that day or a million years in the past, but Seungmin's body opened easily even if it was not rewarded beyond the intense sensation of being stretched…

He thinks he's begging, pleading for the man to press just a bit higher, just a bit deeper… but his mouth fumbles clumsily around silicone and still nothing but static reaches his own ears, even as his throat feels hoarse and scratchy and tears well up behind the mask.

It doesn't matter.

He's denied what he so obviously wants.

And the feeling of his tensed, sore legs being uncuffed from the bed should be a relief, but they fall exhausted to the sheets, weak and aching from his struggling. Master's weight is solid between them, his clothing rough against sensitive skin when they're tossed carelessly around the man's hips. Seungmin's arms strain as he's yanked by firm hands wrapped around his waist to give Master better access.

Long, leather-clad fingers support his lower back, thumbs curl possessively around his sharp hip bones, making his back arch in a familiar stretch as his hips settle in Master's lap… he hardly has time to allow his hazy mind to catch up and feel relief before he's being filled…

Fucked…

Owned…

And then there is nothing but the absolutely overwhelming pleasure he's grown so accustomed to, grown to crave, but amplified exponentially after being so long denied, and with nothing to distract his fried brain from just how ung-dly  _ amazing  _ it feels.

Master's hands are calloused and rough, but also warm and so familiar, so comforting and gentle against his skin, softly working over his boneless body, peeling hot, sweaty leather from his ankles and wrists, pressing and tugging around the back of his covered head, slipping the earbuds from his ears-

Oh.

The silence is sudden and absolutely deafening, a shock to Seungmin's exhausted, jumbled mind, but Master's voice still breaks through, soft and gentle and adoring, "shhh, it's alright, love, we're done." Seungmin melts into his soft touches, the fingers gently massaging the sweaty hair at the back of his head. "Eyes closed for me, yeah? Let's get this off."

Master always takes care of him, one hand cupping over his eyes to add extra protection from the blinding light threatening to sear through his eyelids while the other carefully works the ball gag from his mouth and slowly peels the hood from his wet skin.

It takes several minutes for Seungmin to slowly work his eyes open, and, still, his master's kind face is awash with light, almost painful to look at, but Seungmin smiles bright and wide at him anyway, overcome with fondness and appreciation and love.

The man's near dopey expression seems to mirror the same sentiment.

"Such a perfect boy for me, Seung."

  
  



	11. Felix/Hyunjin - Easter Church Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Religion Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Sex in a Church, Oral Sex, Blasphemy, Minor G-d Kink  
> Posted: April 12th, 2020

Hyunjin and Felix have been going to the same church since they were little kids, before either could remember.

Mass, CCD, Sunday School... family picnics in the summer and warm meals followed by snowball fights in the winter… Ascention, Assumption of Mary, All Saints' Day, Immaculate Conception, Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Lent…

They grew up together, spent their whole lives chasing each other through the long halls of the church, playing hide and seek in between the pews, sitting next to each other every Sunday - pulling faces when their parents weren't looking and singing the psalms in quiet, silly voices only each other could hear over everyone else.

Felix has often thought that he's very lucky to have found someone like Hyunjin at church… someone like him.

Wednesday nights after CCD, they'd curl up and giggle about how dumb the stories were and how stuck up their priest was. They'd tease the other kids for being so enraptured, so certain, so trusting, so naive.

And that's how they grew up.

Going through the motions for their mothers' benefit, content as long as they knew they weren't alone.

They often joked that being Catholic took up so much time to make sure people were only ever around other Catholics.

That didn't work for Hyunjin and Felix… they found each other, after all, but that was exactly why they wouldn't complain.

Felix knows he's not the best son, but he could be worse. He doesn't believe, and he does a lot of lying to avoid problems - even as an adult, but he'd seen how their CCD class shrank… and then in high school how many other kids stopped showing up to youth group and bible study…

Felix and Hyunjin might not be good sons, but at least they pretend.

Not that… there aren't other reasons why they would…

Felix and Hyunjin aren't good sons.

They're sinners.

But what their parents don't know can't hurt them.

Easter was always Felix's favorite time of year, even more so than Christmas. He only got one extra mass with Hyunjin for Christmas now that they were too old to be in the play…

Between Palm Sunday and Holy Thursday and Good Friday and Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday, Felix and Hyunjin got so many excuses to be together.

And it wasn't like they couldn't do these things on their own time, but… it's just so much _better_ like this.

There's a side room just off of the main room where mass is held, and he and Hyunjin rarely find themselves in there during mass - can't let anyone get suspicious, of course, but… Easter Sunday is a day for celebration, after all.

It's not hard to sneak away. The church is packed and everyone's attention is on the Father's Easter sermon… Mrs. Hwang purses her lips as they duck their heads and sneak past her to leave the pews, but they're adults now and their parents have no reason to suspect they're up to anything and won't just hurry right back.

Felix keeps his head down as they weave through the crowds to the door, whispering polite excuse me's and letting Hyunjin lead… if only to hide the brilliant smile on his face that'd surely give away that the two of them are up to no good.

There's just nothing that feels quite as perfect as this.

Sinking to his knees on unforgiving stone, cold seeping through his Sunday slacks and settling in his joints; it's a perverse caricature of the position he'd taken many times that day already, but there's no padded kneeler under him now, and he does not duck his head in prayer.

Felix tilts his chin up, looking straight into Hyunjin's beautiful eyes, reflecting the brightly colored sunlight drifting through the stained glass windows, blues and reds and greens and yellows illuminating his gorgeous face.

Felix can only think that if there is a G-d, he is looking upon him now, gazing up at him adoringly as his practiced hands reverently free his hard cock.

He often pretends, but there is nothing fake or insincere about the way Felix worships now.

The organist is performing something upbeat that still manages to sound haunting as it echoes and reverberates off the stone walls, and the congregation is mirroring that feeling with their singing. They sound so near, Felix can almost pretend there isn't a wall between them and a room full of nearly every person they know.

That shouldn't make him even more excited, but it does.

Hyunjin is hot and heavy in his mouth, stretching his spit slicked lips, and his hand is so big and firm on the back of his head, encouraging.

It's not necessary, but it feels good all the same.

Felix barely flinches when the cock hits the back of his throat, he just shifts his body, changes the angle just enough and presses forward.

The song hides Hyunjin's moan from him but he imagines he can feel it vibrating through his body, down into Felix's own as he swallows around the older man's cock.

Felix's gaze travels up the long line of Hyunjin's body, over his pressed, pastel button down, up the column of his throat, bathed in deep red from the sunshine streaming through colored glass.

He pulls back, a string of spit and precum connecting his bottom lip to the tip of Hyunjin's dick, smiling warmly up at the man above him. Hyunjin tips his head down, gaze dark, skin flushed red from more than just the light.

Felix's grin widens.

Hyunjin's hand fists in his hair and shoves him back down, and Felix gags as Hyunjin's dick and his own moans war for space in his throat.

He's leaking in his slacks.

He's listening as the priest leads a prayer.

Felix worships alongside them, in his own way.

Easter has always been his favorite.


	12. Felix/Chan - Hurt/Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Teen & Up (?)  
> Tags: Alternative Universe, Hurt Felix, Being an Adult Sucks, Established Felix/Chan, Aged-Up Characters, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Written at 2am in the middle of a very personal breakdown, Felix is having trouble getting hired and it takes a toll.

  
  
  


Felix tries to be a positive person.

Felix wants to be a positive person.

Felix is not a positive person.

He puts on a good act… and it's not like he's  _ always  _ faking it… There are  _ good _ things in his life.

But when it comes to the bad…

Felix does his best to cope. He really, really does.

Just… sometimes it's too much.

_ "Thank you for your interest!" _

The day Felix graduated from university was the happiest day of his life to date.

He never did particularly well in school when he was younger. He passed his classes, did most of his work, wasn’t exceptionally troublesome, but it’s not like his teachers liked him much. He was never the kid his family bragged about to the neighbors; it was always ‘Rachel’s starting this amazing new internship’ or ‘Olivia placed first in the school spelling bee’! Never ‘Felix almost failed remedial physics, but he pulled through!’

Felix wasn’t supposed to go to university, but he  _ tried _ . He got his act together his last two years of high school and he got accepted… and his parents were proud… he thinks they were, at least.

Maybe they were just humoring him, too.

" _ We are moving forward in our selection process.” _

University almost killed Felix, both literally and metaphorically. He made great friends, but it was lonely being so far from home… just… so fucking  _ lonely _ .

He almost didn’t make it.

His professors lost patience with his absences, giving him extensions… he  _ tried _ .

Looking back, he’s not exactly sure how he slipped through the cracks.

The day he graduated from University was the happiest day of his life, and, looking back, it was all a fucking mistake.

It had to have been.

_ “At this time, you have not been selected to move ahead.” _

He’ll always remember hearing that one voice break through the noise as his name was called and he walked across the stage; Chan, cheering twice as loud as his entire family combined. He’d walked out of the auditorium, bumped shoulders with a beaming Seungmin… and then he’d literally been swept off his feet. His boyfriend had just scooped him up and swung him around like it was his 5th birthday, not graduation.

And it was the happiest moment of Felix’s life.

_ “We thank you for your time…” _

When Felix was freshly graduated, he wasn’t in any particular hurry. He didn’t mind his part time job  _ that _ much; serving is thankless and difficult, but things could be worse…

And there was always that assumption, that  _ promise _ , that things would be better soon.

There were bills to pay, debts and loans and rent on the apartment he and Chan had chosen together, that they were starting to excitedly build a home in.

This was supposed to finally be it. Felix’s life was finally beginning.

He graduated, and, along the way, he met the love of his life.

It was supposed to be perfect.

_ “... and encourage you to continue to apply for additional positions that may become available _ "

The first time Felix was rejected, he was disappointed.

The second time, he was upset.

The third, he finally broke down in Chan’s arms… but it was nothing a few soft words and touches couldn’t mend…

It only got harder from there.

“ _ \- Human Resources _ ”

It got harder and harder to rationalize and explain away his “bad luck”.

It got harder and harder to believe Chan when he told him it was ‘their loss’.

It got harder and harder to not blame himself.

Felix wants to be a positive person.

He wants to smile and shrug and say that ‘everything happens for a reason’ without a voice in his head telling him the reason is that he’s a failure. He wants to kiss the worried frown off Chan’s face and tell him ‘next time for sure’ and actually believe it’s true. He wants to hold his head high and not break eye contact with his father when the status of his job search comes up.

He wants to be positive.

He wants to be confident.

But he can’t. No matter how many things go  _ right _ in his life, Felix just can’t ignore everything that’s going wrong.

“ _ A job opened up here!! I better see your application in the pile! _ ”

It was supposed to be perfect,  _ easy _ .

A position with the same company Felix did his internship, with his amazing former mentor  _ on the hiring committee _ . 

Felix had really started to trick himself into thinking that this was it. He’d finally get a job doing what he loves, what he worked so fucking hard to be qualified for, and everything would be different. No more stress and embarrassment and qualifying statements about what he does. It’d be real.

So, Felix  _ tried _ .

He stayed up all night preparing for the interview, practicing his answers to every question imaginable, smiling at himself in the mirror until he perfected it, making an ever patient and adoring Chan roleplay a million different disaster scenarios with him…

The interview went  _ okay _ , which is just as stellar of a performance review as Felix is capable of giving himself.

He dragged Jisung out day-drinking with him and recounted every second. Jisung told him that no, it’s a good thing they didn’t have questions over your presentation, and, yeah, they were probably trying to trip you up with that question, but your answer was good.

And when Chan got home from the studio, he got a significantly less panicked, significantly sleepier and tipsier run down of events… and he said the exact same thing.

When Felix’s alcohol clumsy hands tugged Chan down into their bed, his boyfriend went happily with an adorable giggle. Felix was too drunk and too far along in his anxiety come down to do much more than kiss, but Chan has never been greedy.

He’s never tried to take more than what Felix was ready and eager to give, always so loving and appreciative of whatever he could get.

He understood when it took Felix months to build up the courage to introduce Chan to his parents.

He understood when Felix would need to disappear for a week or so to catch up on classes and take care of himself.

Even now, he understands that Felix is  _ trying _ .

Chan is the one certain in Felix’s life, and his hazy mind could only think in that moment that he’d found salvation in his boyfriend’s arms.

Everything would be okay.

“ _ Idk what else to say other than I’m unbelievably proud of you!!” _

Jackson’s messages are what hurt the most now, Felix thinks.

He was on the committee. He probably knew the second Felix left the interview that he’d fucked it up and was never going to get the position. And Felix had  _ known _ not to read into anything. It’s not that he feels like he was lied to… well, he does feel like he was lied to, but not about his chances at getting the position.

“ _ You blew me away! _ ”

Felix didn’t ‘blow Jackson away’; he gave a mediocre, forgettable performance that not even Jackson’s patronage could salvage.

Assuming Jackson had even been honest about wanting Felix to get the job in the first place.

They were… almost friends… work friends, at least, at one point. Jackson probably felt obligated to give his support in the open, but behind closed doors…

And that probably isn’t fair. It’s not like Jackson owes him anything.

But it does feel like… like he’s the only one not in on the joke. That he  _ is _ the joke. Or maybe not even a joke, but a sob story - one not good enough to actually inspire change… just sad enough to make everyone feel bad for a while before it fades…

And all that’s left is Felix.

Which, obviously, isn’t enough.

For anything.

Ever.

“Felix?”

For the first time since the moment they met, Felix is upset to see Chan.

He’d lost track of time feeling sorry for himself… he’d forgotten his boyfriend would be home eventually. That he’d have to explain.

That he’d have to admit that he’d fucked it all up, again.

Something about the thought of putting those words out into the universe, having to speak them into existence…

It breaks him.

“Baby, what happened?! What’s wrong?!” Felix hadn’t noticed how wet and gross his face was until Chan cups it between his palms, hadn’t realized how sore and swollen his eyes were until Chan’s cool thumbs are gently brushing away tears Felix is only now realizing he’s shed.

“ _ Of course :) you didn’t seem nervous, you seemed confident.” _

Felix can’t stand to see Chan’s face twisted up with worry, can’t handle soft touches trying to soothe something that’s not ready to be soothed…

He doesn’t want to be treated like something fragile when he’s already broken.

So, he closes his eyes, and he doesn’t see the hurt that he knows is there when he pulls away.

Chan is just about everything right in Felix’s life, but there are moments when anything good just feels wrong. 

Felix is not a positive person.

He doesn’t deserve good things.

There are people in this world who would kill for the kind of love Chan gives him.

It’s a waste.

Felix doesn’t deserve Chan.

He doesn’t deserve the soft words falling from his lips or the way his hands hover in the air between them - torn between knowing physical touch is normally a major comfort for Felix and wanting to respect his silent request for distance.

He shouldn’t be wasting his breath, his worry…

It makes Felix sick to think of all the time that someone as amazing as Chan has wasted on someone as useless as him.

Chan’s only flaw is his misguided devotion to Felix…

Why can’t he just see that?

“Lix, please… let me help you.”

“ _ Like I said, very proud of you :)” _

“I-” Everything hurts, feels too heavy and  _ wrong _ .

He just wants to be left alone.

“I ruined it.”

“Felix-”

“No!” He can’t take this. He can’t handle this. “Stop, just please stop lying.”

“Lix,” Chan’s voice is strained, hurt, “please, I don’t understand.”

Felix doesn’t understand why everyone thinks they’re doing him a favor by humoring him, tricking him into thinking he’s worth something, only to let him fuck everything up in the end.

He doesn’t understand.

“I didn’t get the job.”

Those words shouldn’t have as much meaning as they do. Felix shouldn’t be this devastated, this  _ hurt _ .

But he is.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.”

Felix knows Chan  _ gets it _ , more than anyone else, just how much this means to him. That it’s not this job, but it’s every job before it, and every second in Felix’s life that’s made him realize how not enough he is.

But it’s still hard to tamp down the childish urge to lash out, to kick and scream and cry until his body gives out.

“It’s fine.”

“No, no it’s  _ not _ fine. Lix, please don’t shut me out like that.”

Felix doesn’t know why that’s what makes the tears well up, again, but it is. He just hates this so fucking much.

He’s so fucking tired.

“Please… can I…?” When Chan’s fingers brush his ankle, Felix doesn’t pull away. He can’t make himself, and the self-loathing already buried so deeply in his chest swells until he feels like he’s choking on it.

He’s pulled carefully onto Chan’s lap, pressed against his warm, solid chest… and a part of him is revolted. A part of him wants to shove the older man away and flee. It’s a part of him that still isn’t ready to be calmed, isn’t ready to give up the pain aching through his entire being.

But another part wants more than anything to stay, to burrow into Chan’s warmth and sap the good from him, every bit that it can. A part of him wants cling to his boyfriend and soak up his love and affection and attention.

He hates both instincts so fucking much he could scream, but being pathetic has always come most naturally to Felix.

He stays.

He hates himself for it.

“You are the most incredible man I have ever met, Felix Yongbok Lee.”

Denial twists in Felix’s chest like a knife, his wet face rubbing uncomfortably into the damp fabric of Chan’s hoodie as he shakes his head.

It’s a lie or a delusion or  _ something _ ; Felix just knows it’s wrong.

“You  _ are _ . You’re so fucking smart and kind and  _ good _ … I don’t even know how to put it into words.” Felix just whines in frustration, the sound muffled by Chan’s top.

Why doesn’t he understand? 

“You are so  _ beautiful _ , inside and out, that I just lay awake at night and think about how I got so lucky to have the honor to love you.”

“You’re wrong,” Felix whimpers miserably, fingers clenching in soft cotton, “that’s me.”

“I am not. Lix, you- you just shine so fucking bright, you light up every room. I don’t think there’s a person that’s met you that hasn’t fallen in love in some way.”

“That’s not true.” Felix can hear Chan’s heartbeat, still a bit too fast from the stress he’s caused, but sure and stable and constant. “This wouldn’t happen.”

“Things aren’t as simple as they should be, Lix, and I can’t explain why this keeps happening, but I’m certain, more than I’ve ever been, that it is not because of you.”

Chan’s fingers are brushing through his hair, drawing nonsensical patterns onto his scalp. He feels the fight draining from him, leaving him small and helpless and weak.

“I just don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll get through this, we always do. I promise.” 

Chan’s lips are warm and soft where they press into Felix’s temple. 

He offers a noncommittal hum in response, too drained to argue. There is still so much pain, but Chan’s embrace feels safe and forgiving…

Maybe that can be enough.

“I’m never gonna leave you behind.”

Felix squeezes him closer.

“I know.”

  
  



	13. Minho/Jisung - OTK Spanking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Spanking, Light D/s Dynamics, Friends With Benefits, Masochist Minho, Bottom Minho, Top Jisung, No Penetration
> 
> Written at seungshibari's "anonymous" request <3

“Comfy?”

“No-” Minho’s voice pitches up and cracks off as Jisung’s hand makes contact with his exposed ass, making him jerk in shock against the younger man’s leg, the sound echoing through the still air of the living room.

Little shit.

“Poor thing.” Minho can hear the grin in Jisung’s voice, can perfectly picture the smug expression on his face as he palms Minho’s ass casually.

A part of Minho hates how much he loves it.

A part of Minho wants to shove Jisung away and storm off to his room, turn his music on too loud and pretend he never even let Jisung take his pants off and bend him over his knee in the first place.

But he asked for it.

Because a bigger part of him is enjoying this more than he'd care to admit… just like he always does… just like he knew he would.

Everything from Jisung's smug attitude to the scratchy fabric of their couch cushions against his cheek. The weight of Jisung's nondominant hand holding his hips firmly in place, unforgiving metal rings digging into his skin. Even the embarrassing position, thighs straddling Jisung's thin leg, face pressed into the dirty, old couch, and legs awkwardly bent and straining on his toes to keep his body weight from crushing his balls completely into the younger man's stained sweatpants.

He hates that he loves it.

Hates that Jisung's the only one he can go to for this.

His awkward, immature, dorky friend that gets so high and mighty whenever Minho caves.

It'd be so much easier if he wasn't so infuriatingly  _ hot _ .

"Should I make you count?"

Minho shifts his weight, wincing as his tender skin grazes against the dirty, pilled fabric underneath. He hates Jisung so fucking much sometimes. "It's not a punishment, why should I count? Just- stop stalling, Jesus."

"Awh," Jisung coos, dragging his bitten off nails over Minho's ass, putting just enough pressure to make it sting, to make a pathetic little noise try to rise in Minho's throat, "someone's impatient."

Minho wants to throttle him just as much as he wants to pin him down and fuck his brains out… but he doesn't do either.

He hates having to admit just how much Jisung affects him.

"Just, like… freestyle or whatever," Minho mumbles into the couch cushions. He clenches his jaw, shifting his weight again, when his socks slip on the hardwood floor and threaten his already precarious balance over the younger man's knee.

He hates how flushed he already is, hates that his dick is filling against Jisung's scratchy sweats, hates everything about this.

He tells himself he does.

He's not very convincing.

\---

_ "You said you've done this before." Minho deadpans at the man shifting nervously before him. It would be pretty subtle, Minho supposes, if it didn't feel quite so off given the atmosphere, what Minho normally expects from situations like this. _

_ Jisung's nervous, and the way he goes ridged at Minho's words just further proves his point. _

_ "I have!" Defensive, definitely nervous. "Just like… fuck, give me a second." _

_ Jisung's cute… it's cute that he's nervous, even if he talked a big game online. It's… endearing. _

_ "Take your time." Minho straightens his back and relaxes a bit, settling his weight on his heels. He watches as Jisung takes a deep breath, shifting in his seat on Minho's cheap couch. _

_ "I get… anxious with new partners just…" The vulnerable look on the younger man's face is definitely endearing. _

_ "I get it." Knowing he's probably not going to get the 'can't walk straight for days' treatment Jisung originally promised him takes a bit of a weight off his shoulders, even if it is decidedly disappointing. _

_ "Can we just… start over?" _

_ Minho smiles gently. "Sure." _

\---

"Fuck!"

"Language," Jisung laughs, hand squeezing at the heated, abused skin of Minho's sit spot.

"Fuck you."

Minho's whole body is shaking with the effort of holding his weight up, staying still, controlling the urge to lash out at the younger man underneath him.

He doesn't know how many strikes it's been already, has no idea what his ass looks like.

He just knows it feels like its seconds from combusting, almost like it already has… and he's so fucking hard.

His breath hitches when he feels Jisung's hand pull back, every muscle in his body tensing ever tighter, anticipating the next strike.

It doesn't come.

He holds the tension as long as he can, thighs trembling, senses hyper focused on every noise, every shift in the air, every twitch of Jisung's body against his own.

It doesn't help.

He can't do it, body too exhausted, but he  _ tries _ . He knows the second he lets his guard down, he'll regret it… but he can't.

Minho's body has a second of relief as he half collapses back down, the pain in his chafed dick so paled in comparison to everything else. He just gets a second to relax his aching muscles.

Just a second.

He isn't given time to react when he feels Jisung's body shift, too exhausted to respond until it's too late and pain is blooming hot and intense across his ass yet again. The scream he thinks he'd probably have let out gets choked up in his lungs, tangled up in his desperate breaths, and there's nothing he can do but squirm pathetically, fingernails digging into the couch, too pained to stay still, but not at all sure what the purpose of movement is supposed to be.

Jisung steadies him with a firm hand on his hip, shushing him softly.

"Color?"

It takes Minho several breaths to vocalize his response, but it comes clearly to the front of his brain the second the question processes in his delirious mind.

_ Green _ .


End file.
